The decline of civility in our society is evidenced by the top news stories. How are we personally doing as far as this is concerned?
I feel that if asked, most people would say that we are in a decline of civility today. This includes everything from sports to politics to the entertainment industry…people often look in amazement at what is going on. Yet when asked if they were civil, I feel most people would say “yes”.
Maybe as we move into this year it is time to take a fresh look at civility and our contributions to, and benefits of, the journey of civility. This year The Charleston School of Protocol is focusing on the “Journey of Civility” and helping people to try and “Choose Civility” at all times.
Remember, how you treat others in not about who they are, but rather, all about who you are.
(Blog post taken from one of Cindy's recent columns.)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, October 18, 2010
Guest Blog by Hybrid Mom
Moms at Work: How Much Kid Talk Is Too Much?
by Angie Mizzell
For humor columnist Robin O’Bryant, sharing stories about life as a mom and the daily antics of her three young girls is just part of the job description. From potty training to potty talk, few subjects are off limits. “My humor is very self depreciating. Anything I do to embarrass myself is fair game,” she says.
But before O’Bryant became a stay-at-home-mom and began a career as a writer, she worked as a registered nurse. “While working as an RN I did share about my kids, but it was more of a conversation with coworkers about raising kids, instead of a monologue. If you find yourself at work constantly talking about your kids and you don’t know the names of any of your coworkers’ kids, it’s time to shut up.”
We all love to talk about our children, and in the past decade the surge of mom blogs has given parents an open platform to share their touching and outrageous tales. But experts say when you’re working on someone else’s clock, it’s best to keep the chitchat in check.
“There’s a limit to personal talk at work, whether you’re talking about your child, your husband or your dog,” says corporate etiquette expert Cindy Grosso, founder of the Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette. Grosso says personal conversations should be, ideally, no more than 2-3 minutes long. If your personal story goes on for more than five minutes, you’re encroaching on someone’s time. Grosso says the rules relax a bit when you’re on a break or at lunch, but even then, it’s important to ask about the other person’s life. “Make sure it’s not all about you.”
For some parents, the workplace may be the only social connection they have. Conversing and building friendships at work is fine, but experts say to remember that talking too much and too personal is simply impolite. Take it from Allan Beaton, a networking and social media consultant who says recently, he was on the receiving end of too much information. “One of my clients identified while on the phone that the dog just peed on the carpet, the 4-year-old threw up, and the one-year-old just did a poo simultaneously.” And for the record, the client was a dad.
To share or not-to-share? A good rule of thumb:
When in doubt, focus on the highlights, not the day-to-day (or bodily) functions. Grosso says it’s important for parents to remember that the ordinary, day-in-the-life-type-stuff of living with and raising children are often perceived as quite out of the ordinary for people who don’t have kids. Storytelling isn’t all bad, if you think before you speak and consider the audience. After all, the person on the receiving end might appreciate a peek inside your world. “A comment that your child made to you really may brighten someone’s day.”
by Angie Mizzell
For humor columnist Robin O’Bryant, sharing stories about life as a mom and the daily antics of her three young girls is just part of the job description. From potty training to potty talk, few subjects are off limits. “My humor is very self depreciating. Anything I do to embarrass myself is fair game,” she says.
But before O’Bryant became a stay-at-home-mom and began a career as a writer, she worked as a registered nurse. “While working as an RN I did share about my kids, but it was more of a conversation with coworkers about raising kids, instead of a monologue. If you find yourself at work constantly talking about your kids and you don’t know the names of any of your coworkers’ kids, it’s time to shut up.”
We all love to talk about our children, and in the past decade the surge of mom blogs has given parents an open platform to share their touching and outrageous tales. But experts say when you’re working on someone else’s clock, it’s best to keep the chitchat in check.
“There’s a limit to personal talk at work, whether you’re talking about your child, your husband or your dog,” says corporate etiquette expert Cindy Grosso, founder of the Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette. Grosso says personal conversations should be, ideally, no more than 2-3 minutes long. If your personal story goes on for more than five minutes, you’re encroaching on someone’s time. Grosso says the rules relax a bit when you’re on a break or at lunch, but even then, it’s important to ask about the other person’s life. “Make sure it’s not all about you.”
For some parents, the workplace may be the only social connection they have. Conversing and building friendships at work is fine, but experts say to remember that talking too much and too personal is simply impolite. Take it from Allan Beaton, a networking and social media consultant who says recently, he was on the receiving end of too much information. “One of my clients identified while on the phone that the dog just peed on the carpet, the 4-year-old threw up, and the one-year-old just did a poo simultaneously.” And for the record, the client was a dad.
To share or not-to-share? A good rule of thumb:
When in doubt, focus on the highlights, not the day-to-day (or bodily) functions. Grosso says it’s important for parents to remember that the ordinary, day-in-the-life-type-stuff of living with and raising children are often perceived as quite out of the ordinary for people who don’t have kids. Storytelling isn’t all bad, if you think before you speak and consider the audience. After all, the person on the receiving end might appreciate a peek inside your world. “A comment that your child made to you really may brighten someone’s day.”
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette is offering several programs this summer for Children and Teens.
Civil Savvy Camp for Children – June 28 - July 2, 2010 - Hosted at the Woodlands Inn, Charleston, South Carolina. Teaches children from 8-13 self-confidence that comes with learning how to respect themselves and others…This will be our tenth year with children from all over the country and the world. Please visit our website,www.charlestonschoolofprotocol.com for more information about this important, fun and interactive camp.
Teen Image Workshop – July 12 – 16, 2010 - Hosted at the Woodlands Inn, Charleston, South Carolina. Teaches teens from 14- 17 important life skills… Your teens will spend a week with other teens from all over the country for a truly life changing and inspiring week. Please visit our website, www.charlestonschoolofprotocol.com for more information about this program.
Gentlemen’s Code of Distinction – July 10 – August 7, 2010 - Hosted at The Citadel in Charleston, South Carolina. This five session program on Saturday mornings from 9am-noon is for young men ages 13-17. This program was designed to teach young men to be more confident dating, dining, interviewing and interacting socially and professionally. Please visit our website, www.charlestonschoolofprotocol.com for more information about this program.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Theatre Etiquette
April is Entertainment Eiquette Month in our Choose Civility Campaign.
In the Blog this month we are focusing on theatre etiquette.
A lot of us love the theatre, and whether it is a live performance or a movie; is there such a thing as theatre seating protocol?
Etiquette suggests: to arrive in the theatre 15 minutes before hand to allow for visitation to the restrooms and concession stand and to also allow time to find your seats.
If while searching for your seating number, you pass in front of those patrons already seated in your row, make sure you face them. This allows you to greet them and excuse yourself, rather than putting your backside to them as you pass.
It is not polite to get up during the performance, or leave early, unless it is an emergency. These actions are distracting the people around you; Often…. right at the best part of the show.
Remember, the pleasure of these events is enhanced by your behavior towards others and the behavior of others towards you.
In the Blog this month we are focusing on theatre etiquette.
A lot of us love the theatre, and whether it is a live performance or a movie; is there such a thing as theatre seating protocol?
Etiquette suggests: to arrive in the theatre 15 minutes before hand to allow for visitation to the restrooms and concession stand and to also allow time to find your seats.
If while searching for your seating number, you pass in front of those patrons already seated in your row, make sure you face them. This allows you to greet them and excuse yourself, rather than putting your backside to them as you pass.
It is not polite to get up during the performance, or leave early, unless it is an emergency. These actions are distracting the people around you; Often…. right at the best part of the show.
Remember, the pleasure of these events is enhanced by your behavior towards others and the behavior of others towards you.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Choose Civility Campaign - Transportation Etiquette
March is Transportation Etiquette Month in our Choose Civility Campaign.
In the Blog this month we are focusing on driving etiquette.
Honking in a driveway!
You are picking someone up, you get to their house, pull in the driveway, how do let the person know you have arrived?
You are sleeping... it is really early and you are jarred by the sound of a horn in the neighbor’s driveway. Please know, blowing a horn, other than in an emergency or as a warning, is not only loud, but it is very impolite.
It is the equivalent of walking up to a building and yelling from the sidewalk to let someone know you are there to meet them….
The considerate action is to get out of the car, and walk up to their door. This act not only shows respect for the person you are meeting....but also for the neighbors.
In the Blog this month we are focusing on driving etiquette.
Honking in a driveway!
You are picking someone up, you get to their house, pull in the driveway, how do let the person know you have arrived?
You are sleeping... it is really early and you are jarred by the sound of a horn in the neighbor’s driveway. Please know, blowing a horn, other than in an emergency or as a warning, is not only loud, but it is very impolite.
It is the equivalent of walking up to a building and yelling from the sidewalk to let someone know you are there to meet them….
The considerate action is to get out of the car, and walk up to their door. This act not only shows respect for the person you are meeting....but also for the neighbors.
Monday, May 18, 2009
The Restaurant Ritual: Ordering Wine
By Laurie Forster, The Wine Coach
Ordering a bottle of wine in a restaurant is complete with traditions that perplex many wine drinkers. What happens after ordering the wine to accompany your dinner can also be confusing . . . I call this the tasting ritual.
Let's review the roles. The person ordering the wine is considered the "host" regardless of gender. The server will present the bottle and either point to the label or verbally announce the selection. This step is to ensure they are serving the correct wine and vintage requested. Pay particular attention to this step if you ordered a vintage that was exceptional. The vintages delivered to the restaurant often change without notice and the restaurant itself may not have noticed. You may want to look for an alternate choice if you had your heart set on a specific year.
Next, the server will open the wine and place the cork to the right of the host. This step sometimes confuses the customer. What do you do with the cork? Simply put: nothing. You can examine the end to ensure it is moist. Wines stored correctly on the side will have moist corks. The cork will not tell you if the wine is bad, so smelling it is not necessary. Many years ago there were fraud issues and the corks were presented to ensure it was the original cork. There's nothing like a Chateau Margaux refilled with table wine!
The server will then pour a small taste in the host's wine glass to allow the host to check for flaws. The wine should be at least smelled and can be tasted as well. They are looking for a nod or comment that it is fine. Glowing compliments are not necessary! Wine with natural corks can become infected or what we call “corked” which will smell like a musty basement or vinegar. Don't skip this step when you order a second bottle of the same wine (it is estimated that 1 in 12 bottles of corked wine are flawed). What if your wine comes with a screw cap? No problem and it does not mean the wine is inferior. Screw caps solve the problem of corked wines. Wines from $10 to $100 are using caps these days, so don’t panic!.
Once you have approved the wine, the server will fill the wine glasses in a clockwise manner, ladies first with the host being last.
Now that you know the basics, I hope the next time you order a bottle of wine at your favorite restaurant you can sit back and enjoy the ritual!
About Laurie Forster:
Laurie Forster, The Wine Coach® is a wine educator and author of The Sipping Point: A Crash Course in Wine. Laurie’s specialty is creating unique corporate keynotes, team building events and group tasting seminars. For more information on Laurie’s speaking services visit www.thewinecoach.comor her book visit www.thesippingpoint.com
Ordering a bottle of wine in a restaurant is complete with traditions that perplex many wine drinkers. What happens after ordering the wine to accompany your dinner can also be confusing . . . I call this the tasting ritual.
Let's review the roles. The person ordering the wine is considered the "host" regardless of gender. The server will present the bottle and either point to the label or verbally announce the selection. This step is to ensure they are serving the correct wine and vintage requested. Pay particular attention to this step if you ordered a vintage that was exceptional. The vintages delivered to the restaurant often change without notice and the restaurant itself may not have noticed. You may want to look for an alternate choice if you had your heart set on a specific year.
Next, the server will open the wine and place the cork to the right of the host. This step sometimes confuses the customer. What do you do with the cork? Simply put: nothing. You can examine the end to ensure it is moist. Wines stored correctly on the side will have moist corks. The cork will not tell you if the wine is bad, so smelling it is not necessary. Many years ago there were fraud issues and the corks were presented to ensure it was the original cork. There's nothing like a Chateau Margaux refilled with table wine!
The server will then pour a small taste in the host's wine glass to allow the host to check for flaws. The wine should be at least smelled and can be tasted as well. They are looking for a nod or comment that it is fine. Glowing compliments are not necessary! Wine with natural corks can become infected or what we call “corked” which will smell like a musty basement or vinegar. Don't skip this step when you order a second bottle of the same wine (it is estimated that 1 in 12 bottles of corked wine are flawed). What if your wine comes with a screw cap? No problem and it does not mean the wine is inferior. Screw caps solve the problem of corked wines. Wines from $10 to $100 are using caps these days, so don’t panic!.
Once you have approved the wine, the server will fill the wine glasses in a clockwise manner, ladies first with the host being last.
Now that you know the basics, I hope the next time you order a bottle of wine at your favorite restaurant you can sit back and enjoy the ritual!
About Laurie Forster:
Laurie Forster, The Wine Coach® is a wine educator and author of The Sipping Point: A Crash Course in Wine. Laurie’s specialty is creating unique corporate keynotes, team building events and group tasting seminars. For more information on Laurie’s speaking services visit www.thewinecoach.comor her book visit www.thesippingpoint.com
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wine Etiquette
This month we are talking about wine etiquette.
Toasting…. Here’s to you
You are at a business dinner; the host has asked the guests to join him in a toast to you….do you know what to do?
When a toast is made to you:
- Look at your host who is making the toast.
- When everyone stands and raises their glass…you do not touch your glass.
- Drinking a toast to yourself is like clapping for yourself.
- Just smile and acknowledge the host and the guests as they raise their glasses to you.
There will be an opportunity to return the toast to the host, at which time you would drink.
Knowing how to accept a toast is like knowing how to receive a business gift….it is one of the gracious aspects of your business savvy.
Stay tuned, soon we will talk about the etiquette of returning a toast.
Toasting…. Here’s to you
You are at a business dinner; the host has asked the guests to join him in a toast to you….do you know what to do?
When a toast is made to you:
- Look at your host who is making the toast.
- When everyone stands and raises their glass…you do not touch your glass.
- Drinking a toast to yourself is like clapping for yourself.
- Just smile and acknowledge the host and the guests as they raise their glasses to you.
There will be an opportunity to return the toast to the host, at which time you would drink.
Knowing how to accept a toast is like knowing how to receive a business gift….it is one of the gracious aspects of your business savvy.
Stay tuned, soon we will talk about the etiquette of returning a toast.
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